Taking Back Control!

One thing that I've learned from my BRCA journey is that life is too precious to let it go to waste.  I had my six month check up at Moffitt in early June.  The doctors did their usual screening with blood work to test my CA125 levels, ultrasound and office visit.  I've been through this routine at least five times in the past two years, so it should be a piece of cake, right?  Not so much.  The days leading up to my appointment were filled with worry and anxiety.  I thought that my worry and anxiety would disappear after my mastectomy, but it was just hiding in the shadows.  Sure, I don't have to worry about getting breast cancer, but there is a new fear of ovarian cancer looming over me.  For the record, there have been no instances of ovarian cancer in my family.

All of my tests came back clear.  My doctor assured me that I have nothing to worry about right now.  As the cycle always goes, I will forget about my appointment for the next six month until one week before my December visit.  Then the fear will come back, and I will be sick to my stomach and obsessing over the what-if's.  But why am I continuing to do that to myself?  I'm taking every precaution that I can to either prevent cancer or catch it early.  Moffitt is a highly reputable cancer hospital, and I am in the best hands.  What good will worry do? We are only given this one life, so why not make the best of it?  I must learn to let go of my fears, put my faith in God, and trust that everything will be OK.

Tonight as I was putting Charlie to sleep, he asked me to sing him a song.  I sang him a song that my Mom-mom used to sing to me. 

"Hush little baby don't say a word Mama's gonna buy you a mocking bird.  If that mocking bird don't sing, Mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring.  If that diamond ring don't shine, Mama's gonna buy you a bottle of wine.  If that bottle of wine gets broke, Mama's gonna buy you a nanny goat.  If that nanny goat don't run, Mama's gonna buy you a BB gun.  If that BB gun don't shoot, Mama's gonna buy you a pair of boots.  If those pair of boots don't fit, Mama's gonna buy you a pile of..." 

Ok I didn't finish the song, and looking back I will admit it is a strange song to sing to a child, but it put him to sleep!  It's moments like that when I remember just how blessed I am.  In a sense, I was given a second chance to be here for my son.  I'm going to take full advantage of that.

I've decided to take back control of my health.  The past year and a half took such a toll on me.  Before my surgery, I was running 5k's and in great shape.  I wasn't at my pre-pregnancy weight, but I was feeling amazing.

My current goals are to:
1.  Lose 30lbs by October.
2.  Run a half marathon in November.

I will continue to blog about breast/ovarian cancer awareness, but I also want to focus on living a healthy lifestyle.  So please continue to follow me along my journey to take back control of my destiny!